One and Only

I don't know why im scared, I've been here before, every feeling ever word I've imagined it all.



Still a few walls that I feel myself holding up. Thats the thing i"m holding them up, they're ready to come down and im forcing myself to keep them up, because what if he's not what I think he is? What if things change? I dont want to hurt again.

Decisions

The right decisions are usually the hardest to make. It's easy to take the easy way, pretend a little more, and make the wrong decision. The right ones are hard. Sometimes they involve hurting people you care about, sometimes they involve hurting yourself in the short term. I do not call them hard decisions for nothing. The key to remember is that they will make you stronger, and they will make you happier in the long term.


Katherine Keiner whenever you have doubts, just hold on and remember that the light at the end of the tunnel is within reach. Stay strong. I'm so proud of you, and I promise you will be happy. It sucks right now because it was the right decision.

Truth

Dear World;

He was dog face wasted, do not feel sorry for him. If you must feel bad for someone feel bad for the people he lied to, the girl he drained dry and used up and most of all feel bad for the woman he killed and her family.

Sincerly,
Me.




You disgust me

Arms

This is not the first time I have felt the need to post somethine Christina Perri related on my blog. In the past it was Jar of Hearts and it felt like the song was written for me, speaking to me at that critical time in my life. Now things are looking good but yet again she has done it. This woman lives in my head I think. Anyway here are the lyrics with special emphasis on the lyrics that struck me the most.

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go


I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home

Singing Again

Anyone that knows me knows that I love to sing. I sing when I'm enjoying yummy food, I sing while driving, I sing while doing chores, etc you get the idea. Lately though I sing when I'm walking around the house, I sing while I'm working at the restaurant, I sing when I'm at the bank, I sing in the shower, I sing ALL THE TIME. I remember once my mom said to me after I had gotten through a rough time in my life: "Do you know how I can tell you are a lot happier? You are singing again." I like this about myself. The fact that when I am happy it seems to burst out of me and as of late it is bursting like crazy.
I feel like there is this amazing balance in my life that was previously unattainable. I am constantly busy which I love. I'm working lots (two jobs now) I see my gal pals all the time (some not as much as I'd like) Jimmy and I seem to be a lot closer and there is this great new guy in my life who makes me feel special, I love spending time with him but we're not that couple thats always in contact always talking. I know I had previously said I wasnt sure but I am sure. Had a great talk with him the other night and he even mentioned that it felt like there was some sort of wall between us that we had both been putting up. It feels good.
However there is one thing I would like to ask the Universe for, help for Katherine.
She's going through a rough time right now and I just want things to get better for her. So in the spirit of happiness (mine) and the desire to spread it I will send this message out to the Universe (or you know just the internet)

Dear Universe:
Please help Katherine. Please grant her the wisdom to know what she should do during these hard times that she is encountering. Give her the strength to stand by her decisions. Give her some sign, a clear sign. She deserves to be happy so please make it happy.
Sincerely; Brittney Hougaard

Weekend Re-Cap

So had a fabulous weekend, heres the deats.

Friday night went out to Blarney Stone with Sara, Korey and their group: Chelsea, Corey, CJ, Joe, Michelle, and well actually i think I got them all. Anywho so we got down there after much effort lol and then Korey, Sara, Chelsea and I headed down to Blarney Stone and met up with the rest of them. I had a great night. One regret I spent an awful lot of time canoodling with Korey. Well I wouldn't call this a regret because I still had a great time and enjoyed the canoodling plus i really like this guy, however i wish I had spent more time partying it up with Sara and perhaps table dancing. This being said, we then left and we spent the night at Chelsea. also good times to be had there. Anyway! Chelsea made wheat free pancakes in the morning which were delicious and then we all went home. Korey came over spent a bit of time here watching a movie with me and then he went home to join his pals for the fireworks and I proceeded to get ready to join my pals to celebrate Josie's birthday.
Saturday night was awesome as well. Josie, Melissa, Margarita and I went to Lamplighter which was the sweatiest club i've ever been to. So dirty but we had a blast and believe it or not but i behaved myself! shocking I know. Then today got to hang out with Katherine for a bit then proceeded to go to work.

R.I.P

My dear sweet swift may be about to pack it in. I am sad.

I love my swift!

What do I wear?

The question that haunts many a female's mind everyday ( multiple times a day) is: What am I going to wear? This is especially true when it is a known fact that said female will come in contact with a) attractive men or b) attractive women (this is so they can compete not to get in their lezzie pants.) My question today is, why? After all no matter how long we spend getting ready or finding the perfect outfit, no man who isn't right is gonna come up to you anyway. More over if some guy did come over to you based on what you're wearing he is probably either gay or a skeez (this is assuming you're dressed like a slush.) Secondly there are going to be girl better looking than you everywhere you go, it's exhausting and frustrating I know but what can you do. This brings me to my finally question, what does one wear to the fireworks downtown? Ugh

WWTD?

New Goal:

Have a truly Tucker Max-esque night before I'm too old (or to un-single) to enjoy it.