Thinking Out Loud

Awesome, amazing circle of friends sans drama: check
Wicked family who love and support you: check
New relationship with myself and realizing how awesome I am: check
Boyfriend currently in the process of re-sweeping you off your feet: check
Pooped my pants this year: Not so much
Usually I find myself identifying with Carrie Bradshaw of "Sex and the City" but in the past few days I feel myself feeling very Charlotte in one particulat regard. In the first movie Charlotte says that she has gotten everything she has ever wanted and now she's waiting for it all to fall apart. Luckily for her however Carrie reasures her that shitting in your pants is enough. Unfortunatly for me I haven't pooped my pants recently not since an unfortunate event when I was about 11 but that's another story.
When I was with Rob before I didn't have this same feeling because I always thought I didn't have friends, or a solid friend base I should say. Now I feel like I have more friends than i could have ever wished for. I have the three best friends a girl could ask for, I have Jimmy mac and Eric, roosters buddies as well as an assortment of equally amazing friends that I cannot live without.
Drama between me and my family is currently non existent. I love them dearly and have found myself feeling a lot closer to them than I ever have before.
Thirdly, I built a stronger relationship with myself that I didn't have before. I have gotten through one of the hardest things I've dealt with in my life and have come out a stronger person. I have also gotten to know that person a lot better. This is a person who loves deeply, (friends, family and other) likes trying new things and meeting new people, a person who just loves living life. I didn't know this girl before.
Last but not least I know have what I wanted so badly for the last 4 months. I have my smoochie back. Not only are we back together but he seems better and hopefully that means we can be better as a couple.
So what's the problem right? The problem, my friends is this: how does one person deserve all this happiness? .....
What am I doing? I have gone on and on in past diary entries and blog posting about my desire to be happy and here it is and I'm saying, I dont deserve this, why is this happening. What I should be realizing is that I wanted happiness so i seized it. I petitioned the Universe for it and it was granted. I prayed to God and he answered. What I should be saying is thank you self, thank you Universe and thank you God for this wonderful gift of happiness and please help me hold onto it. I will not sit here and eclipse my happiness with doubt. Let me sing from the rooftops: I AM HAPPY.